A good day...

I had stumbled slightly over the weekend.  I had some moments of doubt.  But I then remember my new skills.  I slowed down and gave myself a vacation.
During my vacation I made sure to tell myself I'm relaxed now and I can be free to be me.  I stayed mostly to myself but jotted a few things I'd like to do on vacation.  For starters, I wanted to at least view Mass on YouTube.  I'm not a fan of going and being so close to those around me.  But YouTube, the source of everything visual, I was able to participate in Mass from home.
Another thing I wanted to do during my vacation was take a bubble bath.  I filled the tub with warm water and aromatic scents.  I felt relaxed and even beautiful.
Today I've ended my vacation.  I am answering emails, talking about deflating stigma, and taking care of my basic needs.  I am ready for anyone who may call.
I am hopeful that I've secured a new job, but can only be certain when they call.  I'm prepared if they do not call.  I have to be prepared.  The rejection has hurt me in the past.  But I've made a plan.
I went back to the site and looked at other job openings.  There are others to pick from.  I chose a couple and sent out my application.  I await with hope that they will see me as a good candidate for a job with them.
I began to prioritize my want list.  There are so many needs and wants on my list.  All depends on when I get money and how much.  (If I could secure that job.)  I have to assume I'm still on a budget that pays me $1300 a month.  Reality says there isn't much I can do about it.  So I've prioritized my list.  Of course I have to take into consideration my musts.  I must pay rent, electricity, phone, groceries, and gas.  This sadly does not leave very much for the other needs and wants.  So I'm preparing myself to do without for now.
Now is a serious time for me to Let God into my life.  I don't know exactly who god is in human terms.  In faith, I believe god to be a 24/7 protector and to be benevolent.  I believe god helps me get through the difficult times by sharing the weight.  I believe god gives me wings so I can fly over and clear obstacles.
There is no doubt that I believe in Jesus.  Jesus taught us how to love and to go through him to reach god.  I believe in Jesus and through Jesus I will see that many of my goals will come to fruition.