There are parts of my journaling that are so important. Yes - step 1 is to look at the event(s) - some call triggers - that started whatever emotions one is having. But then the rest of the steps say to identify those emotions, describe your physical condition, examine the way your thoughts are going, CHALLENGE those thoughts, DISTRACT yourself from anything negative or that isn't working, COMMUNICATE what is going on, and then DECIDE how to respond....All of this is SO IMP...ORTANT and I swear to God, Allah, Buddha, and the Door Knob it works MOST of the TIME. But sometimes it is SOOOO HARD. Here is my Emotional Continuum...My Journal....
Event(s) I can't pinpoint them. Maybe it's a combination of events. I've been working hard, the sun ducked behind the clouds for almost ten days, drama happens in the work place that I don't like, constant conflict with family members have put such rifts in our family they cannot be mended, AND I know I'm STILL GRIEVING.
Physical Sensations: My chest is so heavy, constricted. I can hardly breathe. My lower back hurts so bad it shoots pains down my legs and into my feet. I have this sharp, stabbing pain in the lower left part of my abdomen - right in front of where it shoots out like a sharp pain through my back, on rare moments I am certain I have to throw up. I'm jittery, tired but can't sleep, sick.
Emotions: DEPRESSION, ANGER, ABANDONED, TIRED OF IT, STUCK, LET DOWN, SICK WITH GRIEF, LONGING, LONELY
Thoughts: When does this - this whatever I'm going through - end? Why is it happening now? I'm a failure. I'll never, ever be free of my mind, pain, life. What would happen if I stopped breathing and died tonight? Would I suddenly, finally feel free? What if that doesn't really happen - that life and death are not LINEAR events but something else and it - this - can never really be escaped?
CHALLENGE: I can do this. I can help myself. I've done this. I've survived this. There will be another, better day.
DISTRACT: Write in my journal. Puke. Sob - it is OK to let it all out. Take a warm bath. Breathe slowly.
COMMUNICATE: I did talk to the doctors. I did call a worker. I am telling others through writing - even if it is social media. Keep talking to someone until someone listens - hears me. Talk to Mom, Judy and Dean. They aren't on earth but I bet they can hear me. I bet they can feel me. I bet they are doing their best to help me. They always have and they always will. I need to be open to feel them in my heart and hear their words in my head. I need to just go to them in spirit - that's what I need in truth. I need my spirit nurtured.
Decisions: Take that bath. Listen to music. Look at pictures. Cry.
Event(s) I can't pinpoint them. Maybe it's a combination of events. I've been working hard, the sun ducked behind the clouds for almost ten days, drama happens in the work place that I don't like, constant conflict with family members have put such rifts in our family they cannot be mended, AND I know I'm STILL GRIEVING.
Physical Sensations: My chest is so heavy, constricted. I can hardly breathe. My lower back hurts so bad it shoots pains down my legs and into my feet. I have this sharp, stabbing pain in the lower left part of my abdomen - right in front of where it shoots out like a sharp pain through my back, on rare moments I am certain I have to throw up. I'm jittery, tired but can't sleep, sick.
Emotions: DEPRESSION, ANGER, ABANDONED, TIRED OF IT, STUCK, LET DOWN, SICK WITH GRIEF, LONGING, LONELY
Thoughts: When does this - this whatever I'm going through - end? Why is it happening now? I'm a failure. I'll never, ever be free of my mind, pain, life. What would happen if I stopped breathing and died tonight? Would I suddenly, finally feel free? What if that doesn't really happen - that life and death are not LINEAR events but something else and it - this - can never really be escaped?
CHALLENGE: I can do this. I can help myself. I've done this. I've survived this. There will be another, better day.
DISTRACT: Write in my journal. Puke. Sob - it is OK to let it all out. Take a warm bath. Breathe slowly.
COMMUNICATE: I did talk to the doctors. I did call a worker. I am telling others through writing - even if it is social media. Keep talking to someone until someone listens - hears me. Talk to Mom, Judy and Dean. They aren't on earth but I bet they can hear me. I bet they can feel me. I bet they are doing their best to help me. They always have and they always will. I need to be open to feel them in my heart and hear their words in my head. I need to just go to them in spirit - that's what I need in truth. I need my spirit nurtured.
Decisions: Take that bath. Listen to music. Look at pictures. Cry.
No comments:
Post a Comment