Life happens - or so they say

It is not news to anyone who knows me that I suffer from two debilitating illnesses.  I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 when I was 26 and a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (now called emotional intensity disorder) about ten years ago.  In one way it is good to have a name for what plagues me and given such diagnoses I've been able to meet others who also suffer from these situations - I'm not alone.


But what does this all mean?


For starters I am a very sensitive person.  If I see happiness, I tend to feel that happiness and the opposite is true when I see sadness.  I'm very in tune to emotions in general.  And sometimes this is a good thing.


How being emotional has helped me reflects in my writing - a pursuit I enjoy more than anything.  I feel passion about so much that it comes out in what I put down in my books.  I "think" I can accurately describe the deep emotions a person feels about himself or herself.  There really is no middle ground - emotions and ideas are there and they are strong or they just don't exist.


But being emotional means I feel all the negative things that much more too.  And my process for attributing their cause may be skewed.  I'm currently dealing with a lot of garbage regarding the way a payee has mismanaged my monthly funds.  It is their job - something they are paid to do - to be sure my monthly funds are managed correctly and making sure I am never in the red regarding my bills.  But this agency I pay has been letting me down.  I have been trying to stay in the middle with my emotions about this.  I am to tell myself that life happens - I can't control everything.  But the truth is I feel betrayed and taken advantage of.  It is affecting everything I do.  Even my fiction writing is suffering. 
So now I have to wonder.  Am I justified in how I feel or is it just amplified by my illnesses?  I think there is a bit of both.

Miss American glassware - pink

I'm parting with my antiques. It makes me sad, but I have to do it. I can be found on www.ebay.com.

I have learned that I can be my own payee!  This exciting - to be independent.  I'm just not sure I'm ready.  I have been considered disabled since 2011.  It is exciting to think Ii'm being trusted to hhandle my own money.  But it is also scary!

We need someone like Bernie Sanders

For so long I have been voting not so much to put someone in office but to keep someone else out.  Now I'm excited because I've been listening to https://www.facebook.com/senatorsanders who actually is talking about issues near and dear to me.

Economic justice - now that is something I can wrap my head (and heart) around. 

I'm a person who uses assistance programs because my disability has prevented me from working.  Oh I have tried to work - but I have real barriers that get in my way of being successful.  So lately I've been trying to create myself - writing books (which I think I'm good at) and making them available for sale through amazon.com.  So I am trying.

But this is what gets me.  On Facebook I'm constantly reading how angry people are at those on assistance.  They are blaming this group for taxing them financially and they assume that those who are poor just want to be poor and feed off others.  MAYBE there is someone like that out there, but of the people I know who are on assistance programs this is so far from the truth.  We have had dreams "of being somebody someday."  None of us have had the dream that we wanted to be at the mercy of others.  We didn't dream that someday we'd need welfare. 

I think who we need to be angry at are the billionaires who don't pay their fair share of taxes and don't treat their employees right.  Wal-Mart is a fine example.  The Waltons don't care about their employees - working people still requiring assistance because they just aren't paid fairly.  They are workers - not simply "leaches" on the middle class.  They are trying to make something of themselves but just can't because the rich, rich are very selfish people in my opinion.

We need someone in office who can break away from being a democrat or republican - those two groups just aren't serving American people any more in my opinion.  We need someone different who truly stands up for American citizens.  We need a champion and if Bernie Sanders (someone who has been giving me hope) runs, he'll get my complete endorsement and everyone I know will just have to get to know him and stand behind him.  We need change and I think he's the answer.

Find me on Amazon.com

I have five books available that may interest you.  Here's a link to one: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1502586584

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Join me in collaborating ideas to get dreams and fiction out there for others to read.Escape in Fairy Tales